I had begun talking to this individual about three days prior. His profile said, 5'10", 180lbs, single, in the medical profession and a master's degree. All of these things are promising. Allow me to state here - I'm not one to instantly blow off an individual just because he's not tall enough or if he weighs over a certain number, nor do I discriminate when it comes to educational level. I read the whole profile and try to get a feel for the person. If the profile says something that I don't agree with or implies a certain likelihood that I am against, then yes, I will pass them by but not before I've read the whole thing. It's kind of like a three-strikes you're out system. I don't have to agree with everything but if I disagree with three stated items, there's a pretty good chance, we are not a match.
Taking that into consideration, this individual was a jokester - not all of them were funny. Hell, to be honest, only one out of five were funny and then only moderately. I told him I was slow to get the texts to allow him to think, it was me, not him. We agreed to meet and have "dinner" at a local chain restaurant. I am against dinners (look at my previous blogs to get the reasoning behind that) so I agreed to drinks. He didn't get the hint and kept referring to it as dinner. Regardless, I got there and sat at the bar. I ordered myself a martini ... little did I know, I would REALLY need it.
I saw him as he passed the windows outside. I should have gone for the bathroom. I didn't think about it at the time. In the future, I will keep that in mind. I cringed. His picture was of a forty-ish guy and he was definitely NOT that. He walked in with white hair and a limp. This is karma. I've done something to someone and now I am being asked to pay up. Fine. I'll do it, if only to clear my tab with Karma.
He walked up to the bar. There are two women at the bar. One is blonde (me) and the other is brunette. He looks at me and then at his phone and checks something, then looks up, "Reine?" he says expectantly.
"No, I'm Mary," I said.
He turned his head and says, "Oh" and starts to walk away. I smile and say, "Of course, Reine!, I was being funny - you're a jokester, I thought you'd like that".
He smiled hesitantly and says, "oh, yeah, hahaa". He sits next to me and asks for a drink menu. The bartender gives him some advice and he goes for a Moscow Mule. Interesting since his profile specifically said, he did not drink. That's a pretty good cocktail for someone who doesn't drink. File that away.
We sit, he orders "snacks". Not one, not two but three. I can barely eat all of them and the one is so spicy, my tongue is on fire! Needless to say, I stuck to the green beans and that was good enough for me. During our initial conversation - I received not one, not two but three phone calls. All of which, I needed to take. One was work and the other two family. I did get up and walk out (with his blessing) to make a personal call. I came back in and he was much more engaged with the bartender (who was maybe 22-years-old) than with me. I saw she was uncomfortable and I made excuses for us to leave. She nodded her thanks!
At this point, I was ready to call it a night. We really hadn't hit it off and I found out he was not who he wrote himself to be. He wrote of himself of who he USED to be. He USED to work in the medical profession. He USED to be employed by the local university/hospital. He USED to be important. He told me he had had an accident and tried to "fix" himself and ended up destroying his entire career. Evidently, a love of alcohol and speed and an omnipotent attitude does not a successful man make.
I had to ask, because in his profile, he wrote one thing and now he was telling me something completely different. "What is that you do, again," I asked stuffing a green bean in my mouth.
"I'm a bar back and I wait tables," he said. "You know, not many restaurants train people as well as my restaurant. I mean I know wines but really Scotch and beers - not so much," he explained. I have to admit, I missed the rest of the conversation because I was sitting there thinking - Whiskey Tango Hotel! How did he go from the medical profession to a bar back? Not that being a waiter or a bar back is bad, but why lie? Be who you are. Own it. I can respect that.
So, his pictures are out of date. He says he's not a drinker, when clearly (as he downs his second Moscow Mule) he is. And, he is not a medical professional (anymore), he works in the restaurant business. Mmmmmm, that's three ... and let's not forget, he was hitting on a 22-year-old bartender in front of me. Yeah, this needs to end. We leave the restaurant and as I face him to say, "thanks, it was great to meet you", he says, "So, where to next?"
OMG! Will this never end? I know I should have made an excuse but he threw me off guard. I looked up and said, "Oh, well, there - across the street - is good". He grabbed my hand and off we strode. He wanted to sit outside, which was fine but then after he ordered a beer - (Mr. Non-Drinker my arse) - he asked to go inside because it was "chilly" outside. WTH? It was 85 degrees. What is chilly about that?
We went inside and proceeded to continue to talk. Actually, he explained his relationships to me. He didn't like his first wife, nor the child that reminded him of her. He only likes the child that reminded him of himself. He catered to that one and not the other. I explained perhaps he could reach out and in time, that could help with his relationship - yea, it fell on deaf ears. He went on to explain how he was not a Trump fan. People, if nothing else, I am NOT political. I don't care. It's not about who is in office and what they are doing. It's the fact that he is in office and I can't change anything about it whether I wanted to or not. Politics are boring! For me, if you need to discuss politics, you have run out of all other conversational tools. Right or wrong, I am not the person to debate politics with. SOOOO many other things are good conversational subjects.
Which brings me to his next subject ... marijuana. I don't care what you do in your home behind closed doors. I don't have to like it, nor do I have to condone it. In fact, I'd rather not know one way or the other. However, if I am going to date you or worse, consider anything else with you, the statement, "I would much rather smoke marijuana than drink alcohol" is not the statement to use.
Yup, homeslice the liar said just that. Buzzkill, mood killer, fun sucker - all of the above, I was done. Not just a little done, but truly DONE! You lie, often and then you throw out there that you do drugs on top of everything else (I won't mention he said he was a non-smoker). I couldn't finish the beer fast enough.
I looked at him and took a deep breath. "Look, did you just say, you'd rather smoke than drink?" I asked.
"Well, I did but I don't do that anymore," he said with a pleading look in his eye. "I'm not a Trump guy," he said.
"What does Trump have to do with smoking pot?" I asked with a look of indignance on my face.
"Well, I just thought, I don't know, maybe, you know, Virginia is looking at legalizing it after Colorado made so much money," he stammered.
"Yea, I don't care what you do with your life, but I don't have to be a part of it or condone it," I told him.
The waitress came up and asked if I would like another beer or another Scotch (for him, the non-drinker). I shook my head and he asked for the check. Finally, I was thinking it was going to end.
He got the check and went through his wallet - he put down some bills and looked at me. I raised my eyebrows questioning?
"Do you have a ten?" he asked.
"Umm, no, I have no cash," I answered. Seriously, you can't afford your own drinks? I had a $3 Stella.
"Oh, I don't have enough,... I'm sorry." he said.
"How much is it?" I asked.
"$26," he said. I looked in my purse and pulled out three ones. I put them on the table. I said, "this is all I have."
"Oh, well that's enough," he said. "You ready?" he asked, rushing to stand as he put a napkin over the cash/ tab.
I didn't think about it at the time but he didn't pay the full tab. He didn't tip the waitress and he stiffed her a couple of bucks too. Wow, what a loser!
We walked out and I saw some street dancers. I went over and watched them for a bit. He said he had to go to the bathroom. I said okay and ventured down to the dancers. I started a conversation and got them to play something for me. I showed them some techtonik moves and danced in the square. It was the most fun I had for the whole night.
When the song came to an end, I looked up and he was there, looking into the street. I walked up to him and said hey. He said he thought I'd left. He texted me (I didn't see it until I got to my car) and he was (in his words) "pissed".
I asked him what was going on (I hadn't read the text yet) and he said he called an Uber. I was happy about that because he was not able to stand up straight or walk without weaving. Mr. Liar was drunk. Mr. Liar Non-Drinker, himself was hammered. (what a lightweight, just saying).
I told him okay and I went to cross the street to get my car. He caught my arm and pulled me to him for a kiss. I pulled away and looked at him. He asked, "What? you aren't going to take me home to your place?" I couldn't help it. I laughed - out loud. "Um, right? You coming to my place? Yea, that is NOT going to happen. Where is your Uber?" I asked.
He stepped back with am unsure step and seemed rather put out. "It's the least you can do," he said. I chose to ignore that and left to cross the street. I was going to get my car and get out of there and as far away from Mr. Liar Non-Drinker, lightweight as quickly as possible. As I went to enter the parking garage, he yelled, "I'll be here, waiting!"
I went to my car and called a friend. I figured if I talked for a few minutes, the Uber would come and all would go well. During my call to my friend, Mr. Liar called three times. He texted twice wanting to know where I was and when was I coming to get him. I texted back and said, I was on the phone, did your Uber arrive yet?
I decided after 10 minutes that I would go. I started the car and proceeded to leave. I had to follow the signs since it was a parking garage. As luck would have it, one exit was blocked and I had to take another. I didn't realize it but I was going out the back entrance - not the front where Mr. Liar was "waiting for his Uber". I made it home only to receive a text, and I quote: "In my book tonight was a complete bust! I wish U only wish U the best of luck. We are complete opposite. Don't text me since your number is now blocke-d. I wish you only the best."
I responded with, "Thank you." Did he receive it? I think so. If he didn't, I don't care. That is one hanger on that this woman does not need. He had mentioned marriage a few times and I believe that was what he was looking for - someone who could take care of him. He wasn't that cute, he wasn't that funny and he sure as hell was NOT truthful... NO thank you! I'll let Will Smith illustrate my sentiment ... 