Vanilla with a twist of Blah

Mr. Vanilla 

I don't know if you can see the trend, but my first date was way too long with a dinner date, and the next one for drinks, still too long, so this date, a lunch date should have worked out just right.  I was wrong. 

I had decided (I'm not sure exactly when) that perhaps I was taking too much time in screening my potential dates.  So, along those lines, I "chatted" with Mr. Vanilla, exactly, twice before making arrangements to meet him.  He was a retired military officer with two grown children.  He liked to travel and had his own home, which he enjoyed working on and fixing up.  All positive attributes, right? 

We decided on meeting for a "lunch date".  I thought that would be great - a built-in timer, so if things went badly, I could use the line, "ohhh, look at the time" and it would be appropriate. Perfect.  I chose my outfit carefully, the day of the date.  I thought something that said, professional and yet had a little bit of "sexy".  I wore a skirt and nice blouse.  I felt good about it and really, that's what mattered. 

He texted me that morning with a note saying he was looking forward to our lunch.  I choose the place near my work just in case it went well.  (I am an optimist, obviously).  I left at exactly 10 minutes prior to our meeting time.  I found parking and actually, made it inside the cafe on time and before him.  I texted, "I'm here." He responded with, "I'm parking."  I walked out of the cafe in an effort to make it easier for him to find me.  (This made sense at the time.)

We saw each other, I smiled and he ... well, it was a smile but have you ever seen someone when they open a present expecting something wonderful and get a pair of socks?  Useful but not what they wanted.  It was that kind of smile.  The lunch "timer" had officially been started. 

Mr. Vanilla was, well, he was vanilla.  Nothing remarkable about him.  No spice, no flavor. Not tall, not short.  Not fat, not thin. He wasn't completely unfortunate looking.  He dressed predictably - khakis and a polo.  (What is with the 90's fashions? Someone really needs to let men know the date!)  He was just vanilla. 

We ordered lunch - nothing spectacular.  He ordered a chef salad - no dressing (just bland).  We spoke while we ate.  He had a son getting married in Croatia and was talking about how he was going to be spending something close to $3000 for his tickets.  I told him I had a website that could get him there for less than half of that.  Most people would at least feign interest ... his response?  "I like to travel in style.  I want to be waited on."

"I can understand, but don't you want to have money to spend in the country - to see what's there and experience the culture?," I countered, hopeful.

"I'm good, just going to my son's wedding," he said. 

"Okay then," I said, rolling my eyes.  How could anyone get any more blah?

We talked of other things - mainly his Naval career and what an important man he was on a ship.  I hated to tell him that I, too, had lived on an aircraft carrier and knew most of what he told me was Bravo Sierra. (BS - get it? lol)  Lunch ended soon enough, thankfully.  I actually got to say my line ... Oh, look at the time!"  I stood and thanked him for lunch.  We started out the door.  He strolled alongside of me until I got to my car.

"This is me," I said.

"Okay, well, text you later?" he asked.

"Sure," I said smiling to myself, thinking of the last time I said goodbye to someone at my car, lol. 

I got in my car and drove back to work.  I never heard from Mr. Vanilla again.  I can now truly appreciate the whole "spark or lack there of " conversation.

Is dating really this bad? hard? or am I just getting fodder for a comidic routine I have yet to start?  Stay tuned ... it's got to get better, right?