Ever have one of those days when you are up for anything? You know, you just have that attitude of "Bring it On! I can handle it!" Yeah, I had one of those days. I probably should have rolled over and told myself to shut up but, then I wouldn't be able to share this with you. So, get yourself a beverage and sit back... Mr. Smooth Operator is coming up.
I arrived at work that morning with an abundance of energy and a "can do" attitude. Now, if you know me this is not something that happens every day. In fact, it rarely happens. I mean, I typically am in a good mood (well, good enough) and have enough energy to make to work (typically, on time). The combination, now that, is a rare occurrence.
I was sitting at my desk and heard my phone vibrate. I picked it up and noticed I had a new message from Mr. S.O. I had never talked to him before so I opened his profile... he was age appropriate- actually a little older than I liked. Truth be told, I prefer guys in their 30s (they look better - yea, I'm a bit shallow) AND they like to have fun - go to the club, do cool things and aren't worried about their golf game or retirement (see, I'm not THAT shallow). Anyway, Mr. S.O. was in his 50's, his pictures said they were recent and weren't awful. He was tall (6 ft.) and had a job and a car and no kids. Not going to lie, that last bit made me a little happy.
His message was more than a "Hi" and less than book, so I went with the positive vibes I had going on that morning and answered him back. We exchanged pleasantries - I found out he worked for the shipyard and was a supervisor. We bonded over a couple of sentences talking about aircraft carriers ... Don't ask me why, but I sent him a note of let's meet tonight.
I had an unofficial team builder (code for drinking with the workmates) that night and thought it would be a great opportunity to meet someone. I wouldn't be alone and if he could hang with the workmates, maybe, just maybe, he could hang with me.
I know you must think I'm crazy - and honestly, as I write this, I am considering, you may be right. But at the time, I thought why not? Oddly enough, he said yes. I was surprised - I don't know that I would want to drive 30 minutes to meet a complete stranger and 10 to 15 of their workmates at the same time. I have to admit, I was impressed. Now ... if he only shows up.
We continued to text throughout the day and before I knew it, it was time to go. The unofficial team builder (UTB) started at 5pm (happy hour only went to 7pm) and Mr. S.O. was expected at 7pm. The UTB was going well and everyone was having a good time. I had told most of the team what was going on and they were all pretty good natured about it.
It was approximately 7pm and in walked Mr. S.O. He carried himself with an air of confidence (this was a plus) and headed right for me, as if he knew me. He introduced himself and we hugged (I'm beginning to accept this is how one says hello to someone they've never met). The conversation was easy enough. He did have one negative - he smoked. A lot. and not just cigarettes I have a firm no drug policy. I don't really care if others do it but I don't want to date someone who partakes. I'm allergic to smoke and stupid, for me they tended to go hand-in-hand.
I can't remember the conversation - most of it was inane and of little consequence, however, after a few drinks, I was smiling and after all, that's what it's all about - me. Right?
He mentioned he wanted to go smoke in the smoking section so I introduced him to a few of workmates that also smoked. Her name was Lola. Lola liked to smoke (only cigarettes). She is also single and not completely unfortunate looking (at all). I asked Lola if she minded escorting Mr. S.O. to the smoking room for a moment. She, of course, had no issue with that. Afterall, I had already asked Mr. S.O. if he had any friends he could hook Lola up with. She assisted with this endeavor throughout the night.
Off they went. Mr. S.O., Lola and a few others that shall remain nameless. The night progressed. We drank, we did shots, and we laughed. The group was beginning to wind down and go their separate ways. Soon enough, it was Lola, Lady E., Mr. S.O. and myself. Then Lola made her excuses.
Lady E. and I had not seen each other in a long time so we spent a lot of time catching up. I tried to include Mr. S.O. in the conversation but he didn't seem to mind. He was standing next to me, occasionally sneaking in a kiss to my forehead (isn't that sweet?) or rubbing his hand up my back. Very attentive without crowding. Maybe it was the drinking? or maybe it was because I thought "he's older, I can trust him." Yeah, whatever it was, it was wrong. More on that in a minute.
Ultimately, Mr. S.O. begged off as well. Lady E. and I were still talking so it was fine with me. Before he took his leave, he bent down and whispered in my ear ... "This weekend, let's do something, just you and me... yes?"
"Yes," I said with a silly grin still looking at Lady E. and thinking of his mouth so close to my ear.
He stood, kissed my cheek and took his leave. I still had that silly grin on my face as I continued my conversation with Lady E.
Now, I know you were expecting details and something odd to happen - as per my previous dates. This guy didn't have anything odd or distinctly off. He was nice, attentive, gave me my space, could carry a conversation with others without help ... I mean, this guy had everything in comparison to my previous dates. In fact, he had something I didn't even know about ... Lola's number.
Is that the end? No, not yet! Fast forward to the next morning. I'm at work. I hadn't heard anything from Mr. S.O. but then I hadn't expected to. I was thinking about texting him though. I kinda felt bad for half ignoring him all night by talking to Lady E. for so long. I decided to text him.
"Good Morning. I had a lovely time last night, thanks! I'm sorry I didn't give you my full attention - I was just so glad to see my friend after so long. I am looking forward to this weekend - just the two of us," I wrote feeling good about it.
Just then and instant message popped up ..."Hi," Lola wrote. "Do you have a minute?"
"Yeah, what's up?" I wrote.
"Hey, how well do you know Mr. S.O.," Lola asked sheepishly as she approached my desk.
"I don't really, I just met him last night. Why?" I asked.
"Um, he texted me last night," Lola said. To say I was surprised is an understatement. So many things ran through my mind - why? how? wtf?
"And...?" I asked.
"I didn't text him back," Lola said with fervor.
"Okay, what did he say? " I asked. Lola was a little uncomfortable (I mean, who wouldn't be?)
She said, "It said, 'If things between Diane and I don't work out, would you be interested?'"
I went from surprised to ... what an arse! Here I texted him less than an hour prior saying, "can't wait till this weekend..." bs and he is trying to set himself up with my friend? just in case? Seriously?
Lola explained to me that he had asked for her number -"to give to his friends" so Lola could hook up with said friends. Now, don't be mad at Lola - I'm going to say alcohol had something to do with Lola's obviously impaired judgment and blame the dude. He was trying to be a player.
How does one respond with grace and yet make a point? Lola and I went back and forth as to how to react to him ... should I text him from her phone? Should I just delete him and forget him? Should she text him and tell him off?I let it marinate for a second and decided to text him this:
"Then again, I'm not interested. Sidebar: Lola, too, is not interested. May want to work on your moves. #chicksbeforedicks"
Point made, point taken (I hope) and we're through here... Date number five, concluded.
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